How to Use Your Blog to Bore Everyone to Death
Your blog can be a potent killing machine. It can cause an online catastrophe without even trying. You can maximize your blog’s body count by following advice from regular blog assassins (like, possibly, us).
Don’t aim on passion.
Passionless blogging is the number 1 cause of boredom. You could go for the headshot by blogging without igniting the fire in you. When you write without any tinge of passion, you’ll create something bland and uninteresting. This is a surefire way of boring your readers to death.
Keep the safety on.
Maintain that corporate newsletter feel – even if you’re writing a humor blog. Make it as plain as possible. Avoid using color in its layout. Using your company colors will make your blog attractive.
Stop the talking.
Don’t let your readers comment on your blog or don’t reply to their comments. Corresponding with your readers might liven up your blog so avoid engaging your reader into a conversation at all times. If for some reason you’re comments are turned on, ignore it when someone leaves one on your blog.
Offer nothing new.
Writing about the same old stuff and offering nothing new will turn readers off. Start by reading other blogs and then write about it. Don’t be original. Tackling topics that are not new would make your blog uninteresting.
Talk in jargon.
Nothing best sucks the life out of your audience than talking in a language that they can’t understand. Plain English is for those who want to deliver their message loud and clear.
Attack everything.
Your blog must not be on a single topic alone. When your blog is themed, you will be perceived as an expert in that field. Writing related entries will make your blog a niche on that subject. This is a no-no when you want to bore your readers.
Don’t be acquainted with your audience.
You must not know what your audience wants. Don’t research on what their likes and dislikes are. Learning more about your target audience will make you write about the things they want. This will pike up their interest thus make your blog not boring anymore. Having some sort of bond with your audience is something that you must not have.
Aftermath.
After posting something you wrote, read it first. If the post entry is something that excites you, then you must have done something wrong. You are the best judge of your work.
So what are you waiting for? With these tips as your ammunition, you can start on your killer blog today.
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